In general, my first attempt at incorporating any new technique into my cooking repertoire goes very, very wrong. Then, my second attempt goes very wrong. And my third attempt, merely wrong. Eventually, after figuring out all the ways I can fuck it up, I get the technique down, and it becomes less of a technique and more of a thing I do while Cutthroat Kitchen plays in the background.
It took me far too long to learn how to make fresh egg pasta, especially given that I already had a KitchenAid standing mixer with pasta rolling and cutting attachments. One of my first attempts at it was described by my friend as “tasting metallic,” which is not a good look for something you put in your mouth. So, in the spirit of sharing it forward, I’m going to talk about all the ways I fucked up fresh egg pasta, so you don’t have to.
A Brief Aside
I use egg pasta for recipes where the end goal is a ribbon noodle of varied thickness: from tiny taglierini to broad pappardelle all the way to lasagne. I plan to talk about all the ways I fucked up raviolis and semolina dough another time.
Some Basics
Pasta dough is simply a combination of some variety of flour (some are better than others, natch) and some liquid, and the ratio between those two elements has a surprising amount of range. For example, Thomas Keller’s ratio of flour:liquid in The French Laundry Cookbook is 1.6:1; Mark Ruhlman’s is 1.5:1; and the ratio I prefer to use, from Thomas McNaughton in Flour + Water: Pasta, is a meager 1.2:1.
You even have a lot of leeway when it comes to the liquid. Keller uses a combination of whole eggs, egg yolks, olive oil, and milk. Ruhl sticks to whole eggs. McNaughton goes with the toothsome choice to just use egg yolks and a bit of olive oil. McNaughton’s lower ratio is largely due to the fact that, were there any more fat in the dough, it would be far too soft.
As for the flour, the preferred choice is 00–the brand you’re most likely to find is Antimo Caputo–but a good all purpose flour is fine.
(I recommend using a kitchen scale to mass the ingredients, but I’ll include the more approximate cup/egg count measures as well.)
The Mix
150 grams egg yolks (~9-10 eggs; most yolks are in the 15 gram range, yes, that’s almost a dozen damn eggs, and yes, it’s worth it)
180 grams 00 (or AP) flour (1 cup)
a pinch of kosher salt
a splash of extra virgin olive oil
I find that this makes enough pasta to serve 3-4 adults. You can scale the recipe up or down based on your needs.
Crack the eggs and separate the eggs into two bowls. If you’re using a scale, put the soon-to-be yolk bowl on the scale and tare it. (You may want to use the whites for a flavorless omelet or, hell, maybe you love making meringue. I toss the whites into the freezer, so I can use them when I need to clarify a stock.)
Once you get have your egg yolks, grab a pinch of salt and toss it in the bowl and splash in some olive oil, barely a teaspoon. Stir that together with a fork or some chopsticks or your fingers–you are going to get your hands dirty here.
This is basically what you’re going for. It isn’t rocket science.
Now here is the first way I fucked up pasta. I tried to be a damn nonna or a chef. I put the flour on the top of my butcher’s block and formed a little volcano, and I tried to mix that pasta like a goddamn hero on a flat surface. Don’t do that. Cookbooks are always saying to do that, like it’s super easy to clean up, but fuck that. Use a bowl. Put that flour in a bowl. Make a little dip in the middle, and then pour your liquid mixture into the “bowl.”
If you want to continue using a fork for the next steps, go ahead. I stick my index and middle finger right in the middle of those lovely, golden yolks, and I slowly stir the mixture. As you stir, the flour from the “bowl” (inside the actual bowl) will incorporate itself into the liquid, forming a slurry. Keep at it until that slurry has some heft. At some point, I usually say fuck it, and just start pushing flour into the shaggy dough ball and knead it in the bowl until the dough is mostly, kinda sticking together and the ball feels a bit dry (remember, this is a ratio on the dry side).
Now we’re ready for that flat surface. Take your shaggy dough ball and put it on work area. You’re going to have little bits of dough stuff still in the bowl that you’ll want to incorporate Katamari Damacy-style. Push a divot in your dough ball and pour those bits on top of it. You want to either spray it with water or careful add a splash of water. Work the dough until it’s not so shaggy and all of the flour has been incorporated.
Like much of my life, this looks like a complete mess, but somehow it’s going to work out in the end.
Now we’re on to kneading the dough.
The Knead
Good news! It is very hard to fuck this up. Pasta can’t be over-kneaded, so as long as you knead for about ten minutes, you’ll be fine. I mean, your hands, forearms, and wrists are going to ache, but well, there is no but.
Anyway, you can really knead the dough in whatever way you’re most comfortable with. I press the dough ball into an oval shape, fold the oval in half, push/pound/beat the half-oval until it oval-like again, fold it, and repeat. Until your hand hurts or ten minutes elapse. The dough will have a smooth, glossy surface when it’s ready, at which point you can wrap it in plastic and put aside to rest. The dough needs at least 30 minutes of resting time for gluten development, but you can rest it for up to a few hours.
If you possess the ulnar fortitude, the dough will end up looking a bit like this:
“Honestly, when I first started out, I expected this to be a disaster.” — My family crest
The Rolling
Yeah, I’ve fucked this up hard. Many times. I didn’t actually figure out how to do this right until I read Flour + Water. It was the first time I’d heard of laminating dough, which I’ll get to shortly. But first a digression into my incompetence.
When I first put my pasta rolling attachment into my stand mixer, it just didn’t seem to be sitting right. I couldn’t screw it in hard enough where it wouldn’t start spinning on its own.
I was a physics major. My thesis was on the photoconductivity of porphyrin nanorods. This device defeated me. (click for animated stupidity)
I was trying to put the damn thing in upside down. I don’t know why; I can’t explain it. You are too smart to make this mistake. So, step one in the rolling process is to put the rolling attachment in the stand mixer the right way and not the me way. The me way is dumb.
It turns out, the knobby thing goes in the knobby space thing and then you screw it in and god I am the worst at this.
Cut your dough ball into four pieces and take one piece out, leaving the remaining pieces under plastic.
Comme ci
Flatten the piece of dough until its thin enough to go through the widest setting on your roller without making your stand mixer weep in frustration. The dough will not come out looking great.
Look at this garbage
That’s okay! After you’ve passed it through once and it comes out looking all weird, fold the dough into back onto itself like you would with a letter. Now put that dough back through the roller, still on the widest setting, three more times. The sheet may still look wonky. Again, that’s okay! Adjust the roller to the next widest setting and pass the dough three more times. Adjust it the third widest setting and, yep, another three times through.
I’m just fronting here, showing off my fine one-handed pasta rolling skills. This is dumb. (click for gif-iness)
Now, before I learned about laminating dough, I would just forge on to the thinner settings until my wonky, uneven pasta sheet was the right thickness.
How do you laminate the dough? You’ve already, kind of, done it. Measure the length of your pasta roller’s opening with anything handy, say a bench scraper, if you’re fancy, and mark that width measuring from one side of your wonky pasta sheet. Now fold the sheet, however long it is, onto itself until it looks something like this:
Holy shit. This is where I’ve finally unfucked up everything I’ve fucked up.
I prefer to get all of the pieces of dough to the laminating phase before moving onto rolling out all of them, but you do you. Once you have the pasta sheet folded like a little letter, you’re going to pass it through the rolling attachment three times at each of the three widest settings. You can limit yourself to two pass through as you through settings 4 and up. The final thickness depends on what type of pasta you’re looking for. (I find that setting five is perfect for tagliatelle and six is great for taglierini. I don’t go much beyond six because that way lies madness.) Once you have one sheet to the desired thickness, you can get chef-y and trim off the uneven edges, so that the sheet looks like a rectangle and not a rectanglish thing, but then you’re wasting good dough. I generally cut the sheet in half, leaving me with two 8-10″ sheets with one, nice flat edge.
Set the pasta aside in a floured sheet pan and liberally sprinkle flour on top of the sheets. Do not stack the pasta like an idiot (me) would do. The pasta will stick together at this point. If you happen to have semolina four lying around, its coarse texture is really useful in this case. Now you grab another one of your would-be pasta sheets and go through the rolling process again. Eventually, you’ll have eight pasta sheets.
See how the fresh sheets of dough are not immediately fusing together into an incoherent mess?
By now, after all this work, you’re probably cranky and hungry and thinking, so now I cut the pasta and eat. Do not do this.
The Drying
If you don’t let your pasta sheets dry for 20-30 minutes, you’re going to end up with all sorts of problems. I’ve tried jamming the sheets in the cutting attachment right away, the pasta is still so wet that, as the pasta is going through the cutting roller, it sticks to the sides causing it to come out tangled. I still ate that damn pasta, but it was not pleasant. After that, I let the sheets sit for juuuust a bit longer. What happened the was that the pasta came out flat, but it wasn’t entirely cut. The tagliatelle came out in pairs, and I had to hand separate those bastards.
So, have some patience. Tend to your ragu.
The Cutting
Now that your pasta sheets are a bit drier, put in the cutting attachment of your choice and go to town: feed the sheets into the attachment cut-edge first and watch as beautiful noodles pile up on your work station. Toss some flour on your noodles, and put them aside cut the rest of your pasta sheets. Once you have all of your noodles, toss more flour on your noodles. This may seem excessive, but there is a point to this.
I was listening to Alton Brown cackle maniacally about nonsense, and when I turned around, noodles had appeared.
The Cooking
One of the big advantages restaurants have with their pasta is that they’re cooking the pasta in the same water all night. The water becomes thick with starch, and that starch clings to the noodles as they cook. While that may sound like a bad thing, the starch on the noodles allows the sauce to adhere better. Since you, presumably, are not cooking a restaurant–why would you be reading this if you were?–you need to find another way add starch. That’s where all of that flour coating your noodles comes in. It’s not as good as the restaurant solutions, but it will go a long way to helping that ragu stick to your noodles.
Bring an appropriate-sized pot of water to a boil and salt it generously. Dump those floured noodles into the roiling boil. You probably already know to cook pasta to al dente. This pasta is going to cook fast, in two to three minutes, so keep your eyes on it once it hits the water. Pull out pieces at one minute intervals to give it a bite. Ideally, you want to pull it out where it needs 30 seconds to a minute more of cook time because, once the pasta comes out of the water, it should finish cooking in whatever sauce you’ve chosen.
Yeah, I fucked this up, too.
I recommend testing the pasta at regular intervals because I have definitely–I mean you know this by now–overcooked noodles until they ended up as mush in the sauce. So don’t be me.
I hope this helps you, dear reader, out. At this point, I’ve fucked up pasta so many times that I can make it blindfolded while watching just the absolute dumbest cooking competitions. But I’ll save my rant about Cutthroat Kitchen for another day.